Thursday, February 02, 2006

The moral of the story- read the manual?

So The Man and I are low-carbing it, at least for awhile (I think I have covered this!)

Anyway. For our wedding, we got some gifts from a far-flung relative of mine- An elaborate wine corkscrew, and some contraption which you can use to make your own whipped cream. It just takes a few shakes and a little help from a teeny cannister of nitrous oxide.

Ok. The Man tends to drink beer, and I drink martinis, but we have a glass of wine every once in awhile,so we knew we'd use the wine opener. But the whipped cream dispenser seemed to be a little bit of an anomaly. Not to mention, it was from Sur La Table, which doesn't have a location near Fresno, and it just seemed like a lot of bother to return it.... So, yeah. We summarily banished it to the back of a dark cabinet and promptly forgot all about it.

Until about Day 3 of Atkins (so, about 4 years later), when I was getting sick and tired of beating the hell out of whipped cream every night and then having to wash a bowl AND the little beater things so we could have some with our sugar-free Jell-O for dessert.

Somehow, I remembered the whipped cream dispenser and thought, "What the hell!" I rescued it from its dusty cupboard, and I whipped up a Splenda Sweetened batch, and it was everything that whipped cream should be.

Needless to say, we have been going through whipped cream like there's no tomorrow. To the point where I have had to ration it, because those little cannisters of nitrous have to be special-ordered online, and heavy cream gets expensive when you have to buy, say, 4 containers of it a week.

Somehow, we needed a new batch the other night, and The Man volunteered to try this contraption out for the first time ever. Which basically means that I stayed in the living room watching Project Runway, and he yelled to me from the kitchen when he needed moral support.

TM: "Ok- how much cream do I put in?!!"
Me: "Half the little carton!!!!"
TM: "How much Splenda??!!!!"
Me: "Five Packets!!!!!"
TM: "OK!!!! I am screwing the lid on!!!!"
Me: "OKAY!!!!"
(Long pause)
TM: "Now what?!!!"
Me: "Do you want ME to come do this?!!!"
TM: "I'M doing it!!!!!!!"
Me: (sighing)"Ok! Swirl the container to mix. Put the little nitrous cartridge into the chamber, then twist it to charge the cannister!!!!!"
TM: "OK, now what?!!"
Me: "Shake the cannister 4-5 times, then you should be ready to go!!!"

I hear the sound of shaking, a really loud POOF! noise, and then-

TM: "OH SH*T!!!!!"

Knowing that this is never a good sign, I come running into the kitchen. There is whipped cream splattered- all over the floor, all over the cabinets, all over the kitchen windows, and all over my husband's hair, face, glasses, and shirt (even the back- I am not sure how he managed THAT!)

We both start laughing hysterically. The cat decided that we are both incapacitated, and possibly insane, so he sensibly starts slurping up the cream on the floor like all his Christmases have come at once.

Me:(gasping for air)"You are SO cleaning this up!"

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