Thursday, April 26, 2007

In Recovery

Yes, we are all better now. Thank heaven!

I suppose I should report the good news- I got a raise at work. And The Man has passed the AFOQT (I think that's it) so he is now qualified to apply for officer's positions. I am really really really proud of him.


This has been a random week, work-wise. Specifically, there have been Weird Moments With Men.

On Tuesday, I went out to a relatively new school. I was in a classroom with the teacher (whose room it was), and I somehow managed to accidentally set off the fire alarm with either my fog machine or my laser pointer.

I was incredibly freaked out and embarrassed, and somehow the nice (male, my age) teacher and I ended up talking after the fire drill, while I was cleaning up. It started out with him trying to make me feel better, and ended up branching out into music, the computer age, growing up in Fresno, my intentions to become a teacher. Until I looked at the clock, and realized that 45 minutes had evaporated.

I packed up my stuff, and he locked up and we walked out to the parking lot together.

"Nice talking to you! See you on Friday!"

I climbed into the car and waved as I pulled out of the parking lot. I was so pleasantly surprised! Usually, men are a little reticient with me, and I am pretty shy, so I was proud of myself for making conversation and feeling so comfortable about it.

I was still smiling about it in the car, until I looked down and realized that I had taken off my wedding ring while gardening earlier, and I had forgotten to put it back on. And of course, I am so oblivious, I never noticed or asked if he was married or not.

I feel like a total idiot for even going there in my head.

I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow! (For the record, all jewelry will be present and accounted for.)

The other weirdness just happened today. Another male teacher, another school. We've had a few nice conversations, but nothing in-depth.

Teacher: I never asked- I can see you're married, but do you have kids?

Me: No, no kids yet.

Teacher: You seem like you'd be a great mom. Are you planning on starting a family?

Me: When the time is right, yes.

Teacher: Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

Me: I'm thirty-two.

Teacher: My wife was around that age when we started our family. It's good to wait and make sure you're ready- kids change everything, you know!

I really don't know what to say. There are enough people in the world who struggle with infertility that I (fortunately)don't get this as much as I used to.

Logically, I know that people who do ths aren't "out to get me." Of course I do! But I am woried that someone is going to catch me on a bad day at some point, and I am going to smite them with the truth.

I don't, because I don't want them to be embarrassed, or to feel bad.

I'm the one who feels bad instead.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Yeah, I'm still here

The Man came home from SF, and uttered those words that make my blood run cold.

"Sweetie, I don't feel good."

Uh Oh.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

I went to work for an hour, came home. Let the Olympic-scale vomiting begin!

Since he is usually like the boy who cried wolf with any kind of illness, it took me until he was almost collapsing in the kitchen to realize that this was serious business. Plus I could hear him all the way in the back of the house. Florence Nightengale (and guilt) finally kicked in. I offered him water, and a popsicle. They stayed down for approximately two seconds. And when they came up, there was blood involved.

I grabbed my knitting, a book, an industrial stength garbage bag, and some moist towelettes, loaded The Man into his truck, and headed for the Urgent Care.

The military gives them all flu shots, so we knew it wasn't that. Evidently, the issue was viral gastroenteritis. Which is horrible, and looks just like the stomach flu.

We went home with our sheets for the BRAT diet, and I went out again to grab prescriptions, Pepto Bismol, Immodium, Lysol, popsicles, and a cute headband that was on sale at Walgreens.
The Man had 6 days off of work, and I knew he felt like ass, because he didn't even glance in the direction of the computer.

At one point, he said weakly, "Did the nurses tell you how contagious this is? We're supposed to sleep seperately, and use different bathrooms."

Uh huh. No, the nurses didn't say anything to me, mainly because...well, why bother? They knew I was already a goner.

Thursday night, I couldn't get warm. Nothing sounded appetizing. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I forced myself to eat some noodle soup, which was a mistake. I ended up just making it to the kitchen sink, and had the presence of mind to aim for the side with the garbage disposal.

On the up side, (yes, with me, there is always an upside) I am getting things done around the house, I feel great between bouts of whatever this is, and I have lost about 5 pounds.

It may be because of the barfing, or it could also be because my period, which was two and a half weeks late, finally decided to show up.

Yeah. Once again, it's been a week. But there is some good stuff to report tomorrow!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Weekend Wrap-up #4


Next week is going to be nuts too. But let's get to it!

The scale was a little crazy with me this week. However, the extra pounds I put on over the Easter Weekend are gone, so I guess I broke even. Yeah! I have been pretty bad with eating (major alcohol binging last night), but I guess I have been more active to compensate.

I have gotten better re: exercise. I did three Turbo-Jam workouts this week, and I also did yard and housework as exercise. I am also going to count standing up for 4 hours and trying to keep from being crushed at a Social Distortion show on Friday night. Whoo!

Non-scale victories- my jeans are comfy again. The muffin-top effect is dwindling. I can now fasten my favorite brocade jacket down the front. The expensive black suede boots I bought a few months ago are still too tight in the calves for me to wear, but I can get them zipped up higher, and I anticipate that I will be wearing them next fall!

Weird circumstances: My husband has been acting ridiculous this week.

Evidently, it's weight loss related. Looking back, I remember when I reached a certain weight when we were dating...he got really insecure with the fact that I was suddenly getting a lot more attention from guys. Coupled with the fact that I was suddenly spending less time at home, and wearing prettier undergarments (because I can fit into them now!) ....well, he had a major-scale freak out.

We talked about what my goals were. He was honest that he thought I looked better and was happier at a lower weight, but also stressed that he loves me no matter what, which I know, but is always fantastic to hear. I explained that I really only wanted to get down to 180 at the lowest, and that he had nothing to worry about. I think what I actually said was "well...all the worrying is sweet...albeit in kind of a twisted way." And he laughed, so I know we're good.

OK, I am gunning for at least a 2lb loss this week. Hopefully, I will get it!

Wild Woman

So I know I have mentioned my issues vis-a-vis The Man and his Computer Games.

It's something I haven't wanted to talk about, because let's face it, it's boring, and it makes me feel like a whiner.

The computer game playing still continues at a steady clip- he has found another game, Eve Millennium, which he assured me wouldn't be taking up as much time as WOW.

Uh huh.

I've gotten desensitized to it over time, but then I realized that The Man is waking up, playing the game, going to work, getting home, hopping back onto the computer, coming out at intervals to forage and pee, and then comes to bed around 2-3 AM.

If you're wondering where I fit into this equation...well, I don't.

This last week, I woke up and realized that there were some serious issues that needed to be addressed. I have been spending money like it's going out of style, which isn't good. I have been slacking on cleaning the house. I have been filling my free time with books, television, and nights out with the girls. Secret Squirrel and BowGirl have been on speed dial.

There have been squabbles. Squabbles about stupid, stupid things. Like why I am wearing black lacy underwear to go out. (Yes, I was wearing pants over them!)

When you have to justify your underwear, it's a sign that something else is wrong.

The last time my life was like this was when The Man was posted overseas for six months. I was depressed, utterly alone, and drinking pretty heavily. I stopped going to the gym, and gained a bunch of weight.

I am not doing this again.

It's been rocky lately, and that's hard to talk about. I've gotten a couple of digs about how much less I am earning at the job I love than at the job I hated. The job that he talked me into leaving.

Me: Hey! I got you a t-shirt from the concert that I thought you'd like!

TM: Okay. How much of MY money did you spend on it?

Me: In case you haven't noticed, I do actually work. I do actually make money.

TM: But I'm the primary breadwinner. Remember, I just did the taxes. I know how much more I make than you do now.


There are no words. Well, actually, there are words, but none of them are particularly nice. I am considering sending him a bill for my cooking, cleaning, errand service, laundry, creative input, gardening, accounting, and sexual services.

We'll see who makes more money THEN!!! I hear hookers who have all their teeth are pretty expensive.

There's also been a lot of the silent treatment. I stayed out until 2AM last night, out with the girls. In my defense, I thought he was out with the guys after work too, but I came home to find a sullen, irritable guy who ended up sleeping on the couch.

He was still mad this morning, and when I asked him what was wrong, he told me that I would have to wait until he gets home tonight (at midnight) to find out what the problem is. Presumably so I would be upset all day, waiting for the axe to fall.

My educated guess is that he is mad that I have been home less...but there's not much argument he can make, considering that when I am here, he ignores me in favor of the computer. And judging by "Pantygate", he's realizing that I am an attractive woman who can get attention from others if my husband is not so inclined...and that is making him nervous. As he should be.

Is it wrong that I want to go out with the girls again tonight, so I don't have to be home when he gets here? I am really sick of this passive aggressive BS!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Retail Therapy

I may not have mentioned this...

I am a ho for the CD's.

I still love them, and I keep them even when I have burned the songs to MP3.

Since I was once a DJ, and The Man had an odd obsession with female pop singers (although he thankfully seems to have abandoned Mariah Carey) we have TONS of CD's. And I always want more.

Which was why it was such a dangerous thing when I realized that Fresno now has a Rasputin Music. It's taken over the old Tower Records spot.

The Man and I went out for dinner (Thai Foooooooooood!) and we saw it on the way home and decided to take a peek.

Yeah. We were lucky that we didn't have a credit card with us. The Man had to drag me out, because I easily could have spent eight times as much, and spent a few days there digging through their used stock. They had new stuff from about 8-13 bucks, used CD's for 1.99 to 3.99 a pop. I am a ho to the CD's, and I LOVES a bargain, so I was hooked.

The Man got Pat Benatar, ZZ Top, Loverboy, and Warren Zevon CD's. Yeah, I know.

Here's what I got:

Life Less Lived: The Gothic Box

Aaaaah...this takes me back to Goth Night in the old college days.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Soundtrack

Cool Cajun music and a nice mix of other stuff.

The Groovy Sixties Set (Vol. 2) (This was actually something both of us would enjoy.)

The Good songs. The Man initially didn't want me to get it, and now he loves it in a "you'll have to pry this from my cold, dead fingers" kind of way.

Weezer- Maladroit

I love Weezer. Who doesn't? Plus, having the earlier CD's gives you street cred. If I cared about street cred. I have to admit, this is one of the few bands that I would buy the entire discography, no questions asked. They're that good.

Ain't I'm A Dog! 25 Rockabilly Rave-ups

(Check out the badonkadonk on that girl! Holy Crap!)

I lurves me some rockabilly.

Violent Femmes- Why Do Birds Sing?

This one takes me right back to high school. American Music is my fave song on the CD, but the whole thing is pretty good.

And yes, I had VF lyrics etched into my binder. I am guessing this is the reason that the football player who sat next to me asked if I was satanic. (ooookay, dude. )

Yeah, I know I went a little nuts. The sick thing is, all those CD's were under a hundred bucks. (OK, barely. But still under.) Yeah for cheapo cool stuff!

***All pictures used are from

Yeah, I changed it.

Let's face it, everything looks better in black.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

If Wild Kingdom had a cage match

I taight my first class all on my own today (my own materials, my own ideas, and my own wits.)

I was trying to explain the difference between venomous and poisonous to the kids.
(For the record, if it bites YOU and you get sick, it's venemous. If you bite IT and you get sick, it's poisonous. I also tell them that you can eat rattlesnakes- therefore they are venemous, but not poisonous. Predictably, they all freak out, which is always entertaining.

Then they start asking questions about the most poisonous snakes, and where they live. I explain that most poisonous snakes live in Australia, but one of the most deadly animals is the Black Mamba. That's when things began to get dangerously theoretical.

"Like, if you put a Black Mamba in a box with a Black Widow Spider, and they had a fight, which one would win?"

While I am trying to come up with an answer to this one, taking into account relative sizes and the likelihood of this happening, the kid's neighbor goes,
"What if you put in a brown recluse AND a black widow? Would they join forces against the Black Mamba? What about a rattlesnake?"

I swear to God, this is going to keep me awake at night.

It gets better, right?

Yes, I know the weekend wrap up didn't get posted. We'll return to our regularly scheduled wrap up next weekend, when the Easter Bunny does not completely derail me with his insidious supplies of Dove chocolates. And apple tarts. And scalloped potatoes.

OK, to be fair, the Bunny is not actually responsible for the last two.

This week has been going well...I am doing my Turbo Jam DVD's, which I just got. There is a ton of crazy stuff going on, most of which I cannot share, so...yeah. This is me being cryptic.

I start the new class for my "headhunter" today. Teaching little kids about reptiles...woot! Hopefully, it will be fun. It's a big class though, so I am a little worried- primarily that there will be 19 boys with testosterone poisoning to deal with!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


I'm not going to lie to you. This week has been, in a word, craptacular.

My body is messing with me. I'm not going to go into it, but it appears to have taken the whole "April Fools" thing literally, at the expense of my sanity and also, some serious dough.

My insurance, WHICH WE PAY EXTRA FOR, because it is supposed to be better than the "baseline model?" Sucks.

Two of my tutoring clients keeps cancelling or trying to change times on me at the last minute, and it is messing up my schedule.

Our bank has hung onto the "No Paypal!" directive of three months ago, and so now somethings that I ordered and I NEED are tied up until I sort it out.

I'm just tired.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Weekend Wrap-up #3


What a week. Lots of driving, lots of work. My energy has been noticeably up this week, and I have needed it! I have been pretty good re: eating, but exercise hasn't been happening, and I have been a flake about the pedometer. Which is too bad, because I know I have logged some serious miles this last week, going from school to school.

The Man checked my stitches today and says they look fully healed, so I am going gung ho for exercise again on Monday. I ordered new exercise DVD's, so I have absolutely NO EXCUSE- between the DVD's for Bellydance, Zumba, Fit to Strip, most of the Crunch Gum series- yeah, those are the ones I already have- I have ZERO excuses.

Now the good news! After last week's stall, I lost three lbs. this week. Yes! So I am nine pounds to the good so far. Hopefully I can make it a total of 10 for next week. 10 lbs lost the first month would be fantastic.

Drinking my water is getting easier (probably because it is really warming up outside). I also went to the 99cent store today, and bought sugar-free candy, tons of produce, brown rice, whole wheat crackers, sea salt, lentil soup (SBD friendly), scrunchies to hold up my hair when I name it. I am IN the zone. Or something. I also bought two straw cloches to protect my face and hair from the sun. Ever since my visit to the dermatologist, I have been applying sunscreen religiously- 55 spf on my face, and 30 everywhere else.

As far as non-scale victories, I maintained for this week, although there is one new development...No PMS this month! The girls weren't sore at all, which never happens. I also tend to break out on my face and back, and The Man noticed when he checked my stitches that it is all clear. I am thinking it might have something to do with all the water I have been drinking, and the fact that I am not eating crappy food anymore? Maybe. Bonus!

Stupid things I did today

1. Reached into my purse while driving to grab my "emergency string cheese stick." Located by feel, grabbed it. When I couldn't locate the "peely" end, I finally glanced over. And realized that I held: not a cheese stick, but a Tampax "Super" Tampon. Yummy!

2. Woke up early, collected my lab slip, drove all the way out to Clovis Community Hospital to get bloodwork done, because my doctor told me to. When I got there, they informed me that they don't take HMO insurance. April Fool!

3. On the way back home, stopped at the Vons with the "fuel discount" to get gas. Idly watching the number climb on the dollar-meter, I suddenly realized that gas has shot up to 3.19 a gallon. And that's for the cheap stuff. How am I unaware of this?!!!
(Oh right, they don't address climbing gas prices on "Pink Is The New Blog".)

4. This isn't really MY stupid thing, but: when I called 411, the recorded voice says,"Welcome to 411! Happy April Fools Day!"

Is that weird, or is it just me? During the whole call, I kept expecting them to patch me through to a hardcore phone sex line, just for kicks.