Uh...

Does anyone out there play World of Warcraft?

If you do, I ask you not to do as my brother-in-law did and shamelessly pass his unholy addiction along to someone else.

The Man? Just finished his weekend. He spent, I would conservatively estimate, 75% of his time playing World of Warcraft. The percentage would be higher, but I don't think he's yet managed to be able to play it in his sleep.

We've had several, uh, "heated discussions" about the amount of time he spends with the computer, this game, and the members of his guild. I believe the first one involved someone sleeping on the couch after he tried to compare his obsession with this game to my knitting hobby, which I accepted as further proof that he is on crack. After a few more uncomfortable nights, we forged an agreement that:

1. He could play for 4 hours a day during the week. (I was lobbying for three, but I caved.)
2. He wouldn't play on his days off. (His idea.)

If you know anyone who plays World of Warcraft, you know that the terms of this agreement were violated (and we're talking, MAJORLY) within less than 24 hours.

I am not his Mommy, he is (supposedly) a responsible adult, and I refuse to stand over him and nag. I've gone on a dinner-making and laundry strike, and he just flat-out didn't notice. He's just gone back to his bachelor habits and eats peanut butter sandwiches and salami and cheese. With this diet, and the laundry issue, I estimate that we have roughly two weeks before he starts to smell like cat food.

This has been going on chez Jenna for about two months now. My attempts to get him out of the house have been fairly futile, with excuses like, "But it's RAINING, so I can't finish the patio/don't want to go outside/might explode if the sun touches me."

When I complain that we don't talk a lot anymore: "You can talk to me WHILE I PLAY- I never said you couldn't talk to me!" He insists that I have his full, undivided attention. Uh huh. OK. If I wanted to talk to a man who was simultaneously wearing a headset and battling large winged creatures, I would just guest-star on Star Trek.

Or the perennial favorite,when he PRETENDS to cave: "OK, let's spend time together- what do you want to do?" And (unsurprisingly) everything that I want to do that is not "Play World of Warcraft until my eyeballs fall out" is deemed either boring or too expensive. And yes, he's tried to get me to play this game WITH him so he can "spend more time with me."

Understandably, I am not attracted to this option. Especially after I did what any practical wife would do (Google search, baby!) and found chat boards loaded with people who said their kid had flunked out of college and spent their tuition money buying "gold" on eBay, or wives who said their husbands had lost their jobs because of their World of Warcraft addiction.

Actually, the going nickname for the game online seems to be "World of WarCrack." That's just PEACHY. I'm beginnning to resent having to know any of this.

Anyway. I tried to get him away from the screen to go to the store with me yesterday, and he threw a serious tantrum. "Why do I have to go to the store with you? Can't you go by yourself? Why do I have to go? I don't want to put on shoes. Can I just drive you and stay in the car?"

Things between us have disentigrated to the point that the most time I am spending with him has been reduced to a fifteen to 30 minute period in the evening where he emerges from his hole, makes tea, and sits with me in front of the TV. After which, we go to bed. Unless I am asleep on the couch, which happens frequently, because he'll usually play until 11PM or midnight.

Actually last night, he just DIDN'T emerge at all. I finally staggered to bed around midnight, and woke up this morning, still by myself, with the lights on. My glasses were squashed in the bed next to me.

To say that relations are strained at this point? Definitely the understatement of the year. I just don't freaking know what to do, but am considering taking up drinking or possibly just going out for groceries and not coming back. He might notice that I'm gone when the food runs out, but I'll be halfway to Tahiti by then.