Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Big Weigh-in

Throwing My Weight Around

Ok- so it could have been worse.

I weighed and measured myself today. Considering that I was up at 251 and 50.5% body fat at the doctor's two weeks ago. (Hello, rude awakening!!!!) When she had to slide the marker over another notch...kachink! I wanted to sink through the floor.

The highest I have ever, EVER been, was, I estimate, 265. I don't know for sure, because I wouldn't get on a scale. I was wearing 22's and 24's back then. Considering how miserable and depressed I was at the time, I never want to be back in that place again.

I am now at a slightly more manageable 246.4 lbs. and 48.9% body fat. 4.5 lbs and 1.5% body fat has magically disappeared, with little to no effort on my part.

I am suspecting the Metformin the doctor put me on has something to do with it. Suddenly, I have a ton of energy, to the point where I have been dealing with some minor insomnia.

So- here's what inspired me to get back to work. Oh god.

One of my buddies quit my awful former job (they've lost 3 more people since I left in April) and of course, there were drinks. And they took- pictures.

Normally, I just like to fantasize that I am a vampire and do not actually appear on film. It's so bad that I don't even like being in the background of other people's pictures.

I hate having my picture taken, and it shows, big time. I always look apprehensive and generally irritable, and the flash freaks out my astigmatism, so I am all squinty...etc. etc. In this decade of digital photography- it almost makes it worse. Instant humiliation!

And then, there's the big V. Oh Vanity! So when my buddy mentioned that he had e-mailed me a picture of himself, the departing former co-worker, and me together, I was uh...apprehensive. To say the least.

"Oh don't worry!" he said. "It's a great picture of ALL of us."

Ok- So I get the picture, figuring that of course, I must look remotely human. Not great, but maybe OK. Surprise!

Not only did my face look like an over-inflated fleshy pink beach ball, it was all shiny and gross looking from the experience of summer in Fresno. My hair was simultaneously flat and frizzy on the ends and...wait for it...ORANGE. As a brunette, something died within me. How the hell did I end up with ORANGE hair?!

Followed closely by the realization, "OK, if he thinks this is a good picture, what the hell do I usually look like? OH GOD!" Then of course, I realized that the pic had been mailed out to half the company, and I just wanted to die.

I showed it to my husband, and of course he claimed that no I do not look like that- that I am not an orange beach ball- that it's just a bad picture. Of course, this may be just because he doesn't want his sex life to be disrupted or his truck to be set on fire.

So- between this and the Doctor's Scale Humiliation (TM) I am back to basics. I filled the Big Ass Water Jug and am taking swigs out of it as I type. I also took measurements (again) and will take those on a monthly basis.

Other than that, I am just going to watch the food intake- journaling- and weigh daily to keep myself honest. The big thing has to be exercise. My pedometer bit the dust, so I need to go score a new one. Damn pedometers!

Daily Summary

Breakfast: Cottage cheese w/ pineapple
Lunch: Green salad with kidney & garbanzo beans
Snack: Grapes, 2 wedges NF laughing cow cheese & a sl. wholegrain toast
Dinner: Lemon Pork with carrots & red potatoes, and a green salad with a few pecans.

Water: Holy Moly. More than 64 oz., that's for sure.

Exercise: House cleaning. Sadly, it had to be done.

Ok- so the plan is to hard-boil some eggs and prep some other stuff for tomorrow. Hopefully, I will have some leftovers when the newness of it all wears off!

This is an intervention....

Throwing My Weight Around
Ok. I have to do this.

HAVE to. I have no excuse now- my work schedule is no longer existing, my husband is working swing shifts, I have plenty of time to myself. I have to go to the gym, or do some form of exercise.

Or at least, face the scale. GAH!

Yes, I have had quite a few setbacks in the last couple of months. But I am SO going to do this. I don't need to get skinny....just healthy. I can do healthy. Dammit.

Here's the deal. I will weigh in tomorrow morning.

Let's shake on it.