Sunday, May 28, 2006

Why I don't usually drink wine.

I went to a wine tasting, which was hosted by the military-type people that my hubby works with. Since I am not a wine drinker, more of a martini-type gal, I was a little hesitant, but was reassured that this was supposed to be "wine tasting for the ignorant." OKay.

We brought an Italian wine, Prosecco (I think) which is one of the few wines I enjoy drinking. Other selections ranged from a really nice bottle of Merlot to "wine from the dollar store". And no, I don't remember what it was called, and I didn't frink any, but was informed that it was actually not bad.

At some point (after a few glasses) I heard the opening strains of "Toxic" playing on the stereo, and had a slight panic attack.

Me: Ack! Britney Spears? Britney SPEARS??!!

Military Guy: What's wrong with Britney?

Me: *wheezing* Britney Spears should not be playing at a wine tasting.

The Man: Come on Jenna! Get up and dance!

Me: Ok. Quick! Someone bring me a boa constrictor! And the gold chain mail loincloth!

After a few more glasses...we start discussing the movie Sideways.

Me: What's up wih the revolting male nudity?

Mildly Stunned military guys: Huh?!!!

Me: You assholes get gratuitous boobs everywhere. We get that trucker guy in Sideways, and Harvey FREAKING Keitel.

Military guys: *silence*

Me: Hey, I am not saying that I want to see penises everywhere, but just maybe one or two, attached to more attractive people. In the interest of fairness.

Military guys: *looking pointedly at my husband*

Me: Sorry, I seem to have the wrong audience.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Who knew there's a "phallic tombstones" group on flickr?

Here's proof:


Yeah I know- I disappeared.

Not much has happened. At least, not car-wise. This entire experience has been so incredibly...infuriating.

It's been two weeks, and I still have the rental.

The insurance adjuster made an appointment to meet with us "between 8 and 3 PM." I let him know that both my husband and I left for work around three.

I got the call at 2:58 PM. "I'm on my way! What are the cross streets?"

I politely re-explained the situation. He said he'd be there the next day by 10 AM.

He made it around noon, after I had (in my optimistic idiocy) rushed through the gym so I could get back to the house by 8 AM. He was at least a nice guy, which was a little irritating, because my first instinct was to kill him.

While he was there, the guy who lives two houses down pulls up. "Hey is there something wrong with your car?"

We explain the situation, and then he says:

"Oh! Well, if it was two nights ago, I saw the guys who did it."

He proceeds to natter on about how he saw three guys under the hood of my car with a flashlight "around midnight." And that he "thought it was odd, but maybe your husband was working on the car?" He paused and added, "I thought it was weird, because your husband's truck wasn't there, but..." He shrugged.

You know, if it was possible to kill a man with laser beams shooting out of your eyes? I could say that I killed the KING of the Morons. Thanks neighbor! Not to mention, if the timeline he gave was correct- those guys were watching the house. The Man gets home at 12:15. So I was alone in the house, and they knew it. Great.

A few days later, my car still hadn't been towed for repairs. We called the insurance co., and found out that they'd evidently lost my paperwork. OK, guys. At least the tow truck showed within an hour.

So now, the repair guys have been calling. The thieves didn't just take the throttle body, they took a bunch of wiring and sensors as well, and so once the garage got the main part and replaced the hood, they realized that the wiring harness had to be replaced, and then realized that the cables having to do with my accelerator were damaged.

Theoretically, I am getting my car back tomorrow. What a nightmare!

Part of me feels ridiculous for complaining about this. Yeah, it's a $500 deductible, and we sure didn't need it right now. On the brighter side, if we didn't have vandalism coverage, we'd be completely in over our heads- the repairs and the two-week rental were at least four times that amount, so it's just good that we have the werewithal to take care of it.

But still. As someone who has had her car broken into more times than I can count, I desperately believe that there's a special place in hell for people who steal.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Making The Grade

I got to my tutoring appointment last night, and there was a beautifully wrapped candle waiting there for me.

One of the young women I was tutoring had three LOW F's when we started our sessions three weeks ago. A lot of it was from homework that was indifferently completed or not turned in- she has some learning and developmental disabilities. So we've been focusing on doing makeup work, and reinforcing some study concepts and adding some new ones.

Now she has two high D's, and a C minus- and her other grades, while they were passing before, have also gone up.

Her mom was thrilled. SHE was thrilled. She will be able to go on to high school and not be held back to repeat 8th grade, which was what they thought was going to happen.

I am just...overwhelmed. But in a good way.

There was a horrible moment when they showed me the change in her grades, when I thought I was going to cry. This kid has so much going against her. She always tried SO hard and felt like she was getting nowhere. And I have somehow managed to make a difference with that.

It's been a long frustrating journey for me, and then suddenly, totally by accdent-I am somehow doing what I was meant to do. I have found that nameless "thing" that I was looking for. I feel fulfilled and lucky and energized and over-the-moon.

In the meantime, I am waiting for the insurance appraiser to come out and look at my car, o determine the extent of the damage. Both the guy on the phone from the ins. co. AND the cop who came out and dusted for prints said the same thing- that the situation was just bizzare. Leave it to me to get the bizarre car crime.

In the meantime, I do have a rental:

Yep. It's the 4 door version of the one in the picture. It's white. It is so NOT ME. Although I do appreciate that it gets much better gas mileage then the 'vertible. But still- meh.

All this gorgeous top-down weather- FINALLY!!! And the 'vertible is out of commission. I feel a sense of lame cosmic injustice coming on.