Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pardon me, I seem to have melted my spine.

I went to the yoga center last night with Secret Squirrel- just for a regular class.

I have never taken a yoga class before. I am a yoga ignoramus, and thus far, I have been happy that way.

I was actually so freaked out by it- I was seriously expecting a whole class of 20 year old washboard abs type people in coordinated outfits, who could wrap their legs behind their heads and possibly levitate on command. While I strained pathetically to touch my toes.

Me: Please tell me I won't have to do a handstand.

Squirrel: You won't have to do a handstand. It's a beginner class.

Me: Okay. I but I bet they're going to adjust my form constantly. I probably manage to stand in some way that throws my chakras out of alignment.

Squirrel: You'll be fine.

Me: I don't know if I can handle an activity that forces me to be barefoot.

Squirrel: Now you're just being ridiculous.

Me: What exactly is the chi? And how do I know it is flowing?

Squirrel: OK, shut up.

So we sign up, I took off my shoes and stash them (ACK!) and we go unroll our mats and hide in the back corner of the room.

Instructor: Ok, I think we are going to try a handstand first thing today!

Me: I hate you. I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.

Squirrel: He's joking. He's just kidding.

Instructor: (contorting into several humanly impossible poses) Ok, you can try it this way.....or this way!

Me: I don't think he's kidding.

Instructor: Come on guys! Let's go!

Me: $%#@!

Aside from being terrified right off the bat, it was actually cool. There were women in the class who were bigger than I am, and the female instructor is very warm in person and also, very "natural" looking. All different levels were in the class, and to be honest.....

I always thought yoga was a bunch of patchouli-scented hocus-pocus. The class was a little out-there for me (lots of breathy instruction while your eyes are closed, and focusing on your breathing). I also felt like, while some poses required quite a bit of effort, I am very used to traditional aerobic exercise, and I was feeling like the whole experience was kind of pointless.

That is, until this morning. I slept like the dead last night, and woke up feeling FANTASTIC. I was completely relaxed. Which never happens for me. Then I stretched, and felt even better. It was insane.

So- I am going back!
Crap- I guess I am going to have to buy some "yoga pants." Whatever the hell those are.

1 comment:

Reluctant Misanthrope said...

I just found you and well, *somebody* is now reading! I can really relate to this yoga story (as well as your desire to throttle Netflix).