Monday, November 07, 2005


Dear Netflix,

You suck. You triple dog suck.

I feel that we are nearing the end of our relationship. Let's face it, it was a marriage of convenience, and it's just not convenient anymore.

At first, I was enamored with you. I got overnight service, dammit. I told everyone how happy I was with you. However, lately, you've become more and more distant. You're beginning to ignore me, and the longer I stay with you, the more blatant it becomes. Is this some passive-aggressive way of getting me to break up with you?

I sent back three movies last Wednesday, you didn't even notify that they are rec'd until first thing this morning... that's FIVE days. Do you think I'm stupid? You could have called, at least. I dislike having my emotions toyed with in this cavalier manner.

Then, you notify me (at the last possible second, in the late late afternoon) that you have sent out two DVD's for delivery tomorrow.

WTF, people?! Where the hell is the third one?! What kind of voodoo dolls do I have to buy??!!

OK, most women would probably be happy with two. However, I am definitely not most women, and I cannot believe that it is this hard to uh, mail something. Hello?!!!!

Fuckers. Did I mention that you suck?




Dan said...

I have noticed the same thing with Netflix...
I have wondering if it might be actually the postoffice... but then again, when they ship to me I get them the next day... shouldn't it work the same way in reverse?!?!

Also, the whole wait thing bugs me... I had a movie on my que that went from now, to short wait.. and not is at Long Wait... WTF! do some people have a priority que over mine?

Anonymous said...

Netflix says: "Dear Jenna,
We regret to inform you that we... we fucked you over. We fucked you real good. It was great while it lasted. At first we were interested in you, but we have moved on to others. We prefer blonds. =) they are easier to satisfy.

We underestimated you being to see right through us. We tried to dazzle you with over 2,000 titles to choose from. Shipping overnight was great... at first. Slowing down our return rate really wasn't as mucha passive agressive act, but more like I'm done with this bitch, Next!

Please don't think this letter rude in anyway. We appreciate your money. Have a great... Whatever.


(this is not a real letter by Netflix.)

Your Neighbor

jenna sais quoi said...

Bhahahahaha! Neighbor, you dork. You crack me up.


Your Ferretness: I dunno. I think you have to sell your soul to them in order to get prompt service after the two-week intro period.

To be fair, I know 2-3 people who have been Netflix customers for a long time, and they say that the return rate had noticeably slowed down in the last 6 months or so. So it's not just me! (and you...and oh yeah, all those other people...)

Not that it means in any way that my pals at Netflix are not a bunch of crack whores. Keep up, people!