Sunday, November 20, 2005

Give a Hoot..Don't Pollute

What the feep is the deal with Hooters?

Maybe I have covered this before, maybe I haven't.

I dislike Hooters, not so much because OK. Hooters is skanky, (It just IS!) but because of the whole stupid double entendre with the owl. Those of you who know me have probably heard this before. But it makes me want to go out and start a rival restaurant called "Peckers". Our mascot will be a woodpecker with a three-foot long beak, and the servers will all be attractive, male, and wearing really tight pants to show off the goods.

Anyway. The Indian restaurant that Buddy and I go to (Masala- really really good, and if you live in Fresno, I strongly suggest that you go and have some chicken tikka masala) is unfortunately located a few doors down from the local Hooters. On more than one occasion, we've passed women outside the Hooters (I assume they are wait staff) who are evidently hula-hooping in their underwear. Okay. Yeah- it's all about the owls!

So. Buddy and I leave Masala, and aside from the general dregs of maledom who are lurking around the general vicinity, there's a bunch of random middle-aged guys who are congregated, with chairs, and are sitting in the middle of the parking lot- right outside the Hooters.

This is a crowded, busy lot, with lots of traffic. My friend's car is parked right behind these guys. We start to back out, and we come pretty close to them evidently, because one of them suddenly jumps up and pounds repeatedly, really hard, on the back window of my friend's car and screams a bunch of abusive language at us.

Naturally this scares the bejeezus out of both of us, and since, quite frankly, these morons could be hanging out in the Hooters with the hot wings and the double D's, it pisses us both off. So my buddy throws some profanity back out the window and we drive off.

In the meantime, I whip out my cell phone and dial information to get ahold of Hooters. I figure that they should know that they have some potentially drunk idiots who are sitting in the middle of the lot out front for no apparrent reason.

After speaking with a very confused-sounding girl named Naomi, the guys out front were the manager of Hooters and a patron of the restaurant who had fallen (inside the restaurant?!) and were out waiting in the parking lot for an ambulance.

Since there is plenty of outdoor seating and a large patio area with benches where they could wait...I guess it just seemed like a good idea to sit in the middle of the parking lot. Because if the guy wasn't hurt and going to sue the restaurant anyway, why not challenge fate and wait for a passing car to put him out of his misery?

Frankly, I just don't get it. But then, it's Hooters- it doesn't have to make sense.

1 comment:

Dreamspinner said...

Peckers: I'd eat there. I'd make my husband come eat there too. >:^D
Hooters: a symptom of the decline of western civilization