Ugh.

So you guys know I went to the temp agency yesterday, right? Well, you prolly didn't, 'cause I didn't tell you. But now, you know. And According to G.I. Joe, that's half the battle.

So.

I had a phone interview yesterday.

All I can say is, I really hate it when you call someone that you don't KNOW, then they introduce themselves, there's a muffled convo with SOMEONE(s) who you're not introduced to, and then they say, "Is it OK if I put you on speakerphone?"

Sheesh, people! Are you Penn, and you just have Teller in the background?

I need to know who my audience is. I have to turn on The Charm. Since, you know, I am supposed to impress you and not come off looking/sounding like an idiot.

Especially if all I hear out of the "audience" is occasional rumblings and chuckling in the appropriate places. (Dear Lord, let there not be inappropriate chuckling!) So yeah, I was flying blind, plus I was on my cell phone in a PARKING LOT due to circumstances beyond my control. In retrospect, I think I did OK.

I got the biggest reaction when I introduced the concept of the 1 thru 5 employee rating system that was used at my last job. (This was in response to a question about differentiating a standard employee from an excellent employee- I said "The excellent employee goes the extra mile- I want to work in a situation where that will be appreciated! Yes, you guys can use that someday if you want.) And then I told this story.

When I first started working at my last Company Which Shall Not Be Named, I got my first review. And it was a good review- I was a new employee, and I basically got 3's on everything. I was Acceptable. It was on paper and everything!

The next year, I transitioned into a job with a lot more responsibility. I came in on weekends. I showed up early. I sweated bullets. I worked overtime. I did the 30 minute lunches. (Remember that, some of you?) And when review time came around, I still got a "3" on the "attendance & promptness" portion of my review.

When I questioned it, I was told that I shouldn't be upset, because a "3" meant Meets Expectations, and a 4 was for "exceeds expectations", and a 5 was for "exceptional performance". And since they EXPECTED me to be there early every day and work weekends and overtime, they couldn't in good conscience give me a 4.

Damn- how do you get a FIVE? Move into my cubicle? Kiss some serious ass? WHAT??! I bet ERIC gets a FIVE.... (No, I didn't say that. But y'all know you were thinking it.)

So- when I addressed that story and sent it out into the speakerphone void, I got the background chuckle. I don't know if it was "Lawd, you must have worked for a bunch of dumb ass-clowns!" kind of chuckle, or a "The world ain't fair sweetheart, WE don't even give paid holidays, just grab the counter and bend over like the rest of us" kind of chuckle. So.

Then they(?)asked me if I had any questions for them, or if there was anything I felt that they should know about me. The part that disturbs me is that I don't remember what I said. I know I didn't scream "WORLD PEACE!" and smack my head repeatedly against the dashboard of my car. But I remember coming close to it.

They said they had a few other positions open that I might be interested in, which I can only see as a good thing.

Think good thoughts for me, people!