Thursday, January 05, 2006

Change Bandit

Ok, this is hysterical.

I have been stashing change I find around the house and then rolling it up whenever it occurs to me.

Last night, one of my purses fell off the bed while I was reading a book or something, and change cascaded out onto the floor. The Man rolls his eyes and says, "OK- I am going to count all this up."

I had about 8 bucks (mostly in quarters) at the bottom of my purse. He starts going off about me like I am some endearing little squirrel with a hoarding problem, and so I decided to humor him and drag out all my old, forgotten, and abandoned purses to see what the result would be.

Oh My GOD.

Well, all I can say, is that we'll never starve! I guess this bad habit I have of not ever making change has finally paid off.

Between all my stuff, including jacket pockets, the grand total came to: $88.93. Not all of this was change- I found two fives in one purse, and a big wad of ones in another. My only defense is that both of these purses date back to when Alan was overseas, and I was doing a lot of drinkin'.

Plus I found:
3 sets of chandelier earrings
4.5 sets of regular earrings
3 necklaces
4 barrettes
1 ring
two pair (clean) socks and underwear (this was in the abandoned gym bag)
Spare pair of prescription glasses
19 ponytail elastics
Innumerable hairpins
Lipstick for days- at least 5, not counting lip gloss, which seems to breed in captivity.
One compact
6 pairs of sunglasses
The heel of a shoe (how did that happen?)
Pens galore- 3 ballpoint, 7 rollerball, two felt-tip, and one forest green dry erase (where the hell did I get that?)
Old checks
two lost pieces from my manicure set
nail glue
empty bottle of perfume
my old SS card
Post-it pads
a whole lotta lint
a lighter and a pack of Djarum clove cigarettes- full, minus one. (Also from The Man overseas period)
tons of miniscule knitting paraphanalia
lint
pepper spray
feminine protection
Old medication
petrified gum and tins of altoids.

And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cool! It's like Christmas all over again. Must be time to call the ferret and go shopping! :)

Akasha

Dan said...

HOLY SNAP!
I want to go around and shake things now and see what falls out! This could be fun!!!

Anonymous said...

Wasn't the Heil from one of the trips?? I swear I remember this happening. LOL
I was reading the whole thing and the 12 days of christmas song kept running through my head. I kept waiting to read 2 french hens, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Oh and Dan. it depends on what your shaking. If you decide to shake a hot cup of coffee, you probably won't get anything more than a few burns. This is Wise Knowledge that I am Bestowing upon you. =) *big cheesy grin*

jenna sais quoi said...

Bhaha...for a second, I thought you were talking about Dennis! (Ok, my handbags are not *THAT* big.)

Actually, you were there for the heel. It happened at the Workplace That Shall Not Be Named, and I believe I was stomping around to rid myself of excess rage. As an alternative to the usual Abnormally Loud Typing.