Still waiting....

C'mon Universe- I definitely deserve some good karma!

My interviewer did inform me that the boss will be out of the office until later on this week, so she wouldn't be able to make a decision until then. Even though I have privileged information, I still suck at waiting.

In the meantime, The Man and I decided to actually do useful stuff today: for example, we put away the 14 boxes of Christmas stuff.

We're also preparing to turn in our tax stuff, and he has some extra $ coming in this month. So we've been discussing the possibility of going to Vegas, just the two of us, for a couple of days- since things are calming down for him, and my unlimited play-time is soon coming to a close, we figured it might be our last hurrah for awhile. We haven't taken a serious vacation together since our honeymoon.

After discussions, We decided that we should just have a "home vacation". Meaning we just spend time together, relax, and maybe do some long-put-off projects around the house. I know- we're such home-bodies.

Plans are in the works for a big vacay next year- when the cars and credit cards will both be paid off, so we won't feel quite so guilty for splurging. And to be honest, the notion of going away somewhere right now just leaves me cold.

So tonight, we decided to begin the transformation of our bedroom into our very own B&B. I have so far gotten rid of about 60 lbs. of clothing. Mostly mine.

WHAT the hell was I thinking?! A lot of this stuff dated back at least 4 or 5 years, when I had lost a bunch of weight, and judging from many of my clothing choices, I evidently thought I was Gwen Stephani and Beyonce COMBINED.

From the look of things, I thought I would be going out to dance clubs every night for the rest of my life. Tons of slinky little tops and leather mini skirts and metallic or uh, wildly patterned (purple leopard print!!!! Was I on crack?!)dresses, all lovingly stored away for the day when I would fit back into them.

Looking at it, I realized how much my life has changed, and how very inappropriate it all is now. It seems like those clothes were worn by a completely different person.

Anyway, I tossed it all, so the girls on G street will hit the jackpot, if they head over to the Goodwill.

So now, there is room in my closet for the stuff that I actually wear, and it all fits me. The stuff that's a size or two smaller all fits in the under-bed storage. The toppling pile of notes and literature that once dwarfed my bedside table is now gone. I can actually see my bedroom floor. And The Man has promised to pare down his collection of black, brown, and white t-shirts to a mere ten of each color. So the the next 60 lbs. of stuff we give away is pretty much a given.

The upshot? For the first time in nearly 6 months, I can actually see my bedroom floor, AND the top of both dressers, my vanity, and the loveseat. Yes, I cheerfully admit it- we are both complete slobs.

Here's what we found:

The Man's blue dress shirt (behind my dresser)
10 bucks (I don't know whose pocket it fell out of, but it's mine now)
8000 black rubber bands (evidently a bag exploded)
Generic Vicodin
The other cat (actually, a ginormous dust bunny)
hair elastics (estimated number- one bajillion)
Misc. earrings
toe rings from Target, circa 2001
Fax re: my medical info, circa 2002
My paperwork from my last generous raise at The Company Which Shall Not Be Named- (Sixteen cents. Yeah. We discussed burning it in effigy, but decided that even retroactively, it just wasn't worth the effort.)
And extra Harry Potter Book (which was supposed to be a grad gift for someone- uh, last JUNE)
2 pairs of red satin gloves (one pair from each time I was Cruella De Vil for Halloween)
Renegade underwires
Jimmy Hoffa
The belt from my leopard bathrobe (Hey, at least it's not PURPLE!)
Broken hangers
My sanity (residual)

Evidently, it was a Good Hair Day.

Okay, peeps!

So, I went to the interview. Got all dolled up (aka, ditched the glasses and put on makeup, attempted to remove lint from various areas of my person, etc.)

I walk into the lobby, and there are a bunch of women working behind a big window. They all smile at me, and I give them my name and let them know who I am waiting for. The lady writes this down, and then gushes, "I just have to tell you, you have the most beautiful hair I've EVER SEEN."

Wow! I thanked her, and decided to take this as a good omen. Then I got called back into the inner sanctum.

I don't want to say too much, but I really liked my interviewer, and she evidently doesn't suffer from hair envy, because she seemed to like me too. We laughed a lot, which is always a good thing. You know, unless they are laughing AT you. (Fortunately, this was the "laughing with" variety.)

Then I went out to sushi with Secret Squirrel. When I walked out to the car, she blurted out, "You look....like one of Charlie's Angels!!! Your hair looks amazing!"

My hubby just came home and said the same damn thing. This is getting freaky.

What's my secret? Evidently, it's cheap-ass shampoo. Well, that and not wearing my hair in the customary big wad on top of my head.

I just ran out of my usual John Frieda Brilliant Brunette (around 8 bucks a bottle, $5.99 on sale), and for the past week I have been using Flex Extra Body, which is from the 99 cent store, y'all. I normally only use it to get the henna out of my hair, because it counteracts the infamous henna "frozen peas" smell. I am thinking it's going to be MY shampoo from now on. And hopefully, I will hear about the interview sometime next week!

*chirp*chirp*

That's supposed to acknowledge the crickets, guys. Sorry it's taken me so long to check in. It's been- well, a little distracted aound here.

I just got a call from the temp agency. I have an in-person job interview today, with the same company that I had a phone interview with earlier this month. So it looks like the good thoughts you guys sent my way are working- Thank you! And if you wouldn't mind, please keep sending 'em....I think I am gonna need 'em.

Interviews are from 11 AM to 2 PM, so if they're seeing one person every half-hour, that means that they're seeing around eight people total. Here's hoping I stand out from the pack! It does pay more than my last job at The Company Which Shall Not Be Named-I actually think it's salaried, and they pay 100% of benefits.

So, all my fingers are crossed. We'll see how it goes.

DUH squared

I just realized- the 17th was my blogiversary!

A smidge over a year ago, I started posting my menus and exercise logs online. Eventually, I quit watching what I ate and exercising, so I actually had to, you know, discuss other (debatably more interesting)stuff.

Now I am kind of in-between. Perhaps I have mellowed with time?

Here's the part where you all say "DUH".

Ok. While I am still slightly persnickety with Netflix, I just made an important discovery. Because I can't sleep, dammit.

You can rent workout DVD's, kids. Even Carmen Electra's striptease series. So, you can rent it and you'll know if you can't get through, say, the first 15 minutes due to excessive laughter brought on by all the ass-slapping. BEFORE you shell out the big money at Amazon. Holla!

I also found how-to dance DVD's, and I bet they have a ton of other handy stuff.

Skinny jeans!

Ok- not technically skinny. But the jeans that I bought a month ago, knowing that they were able to zip with difficulty, but were too tight to actually button them?

Those babies fit. Perfectly. And all it took was 4 lbs! I know I have lost inches, so I guess I am going to start keeping track of those too.


Also, news from another alternate universe- I exercised both yesterday and today. I was in the privacy of my own home, and I had a blast.

I know- it must be a sign of the apocalypse!

A kinder, gentler Jenna

Today was...well, it was lovely. Please keep in mind that today may be Monday for the rest of you, but for The Man and I, today was Saturday. WOO!

Slept in this morning. Went to a movie last night, and a matinee today (thumbs up!) Loved "Tristan and Isolde". Liked "The Family Stone". Still gotta see "Memoirs of a Geisha" and "Munich", and possibly "Brokeback Mountain."

I should say, most of you who read this have joined me in a period where weight loss hasn't been a focus for me- and it's going to be more of a focus from now on, although I do promise not to post menus and sweat over every carb and calorie, because- let's face it- that shizz isn't exactly fascinating, even for me. But there will be trials and tribulations and updates posted, probably on a weekly basis.

Also, knitting is going to come into the picture more. I have basically abandoned the old sweatergrrrl blog, and although there are a ton of "knuggles" who read this, project photos shall be forthcoming.

Back to "The Fat!"

I am down 1/2 lb. from my starting weight, as of today. Hallelujah- I can stop obsessing over the 2 lb. gain! The low carb magic finally seems to be kicking into gear for me. Although, the pork rinds are still not looking appetizing. But I can see where they would come in handy for breading and such.

Exercise starts on Wednesday. So Neighbor, if you see a possibly insane individual shaking her thang to salsa music through the front windows, it's probably moi. But with any luck, I will remember to close the blinds before I actually get my groove on. Weight training will have to wait. I am a little terrified, since I managed to wrench SOMEBODY's screen door off the hinges with my superhuman strength last night.

Working in some exercise and drinking my 64 oz. of water are my two big goals for this week.

Oh, and file under "There is a GOD!" I have news from "the Workplace That Must Not Be Named." Evidently, The Guy Who Was a Total Dick and Was Therefore Made a Supervisor (hereafter TGWWaTDaWTMaS) quit last Friday after just one month of actual supervising, and went to go work for an "unnamed competitor". And there was much rejoicing.

The one where I am cranky, and random stuff happens to my boobs.

So. Still doing Atkins. Still up one pound from my original weigh-in- my STARTING weight.

Grrrrrrrr. I gave up mint chocolate chip ice-cream cake for THIS?!

In other news, I have a sink full of dishes, and a hell of a lot of stuff to clean up. This is because we are eating every meal at home (see above re: Atkins) and I feel like I am always either cooking or cleaning up.

The Man, to pacify me, made omelettes the other day. He got very creative and used pastrami, but hey, as long as I didn't have to cook, I didn't really care. The omelettes were so huge, we ended up plastic-wrapping both plates and eating the rest for lunch.

Then he sweetly offered to clean up. Which he did, in a sense, although I was slightly miffed to see that he'd just dumped both plates into the sink without bothering to rinse them, and with the cellophane still attached. And then put a whole bunch of nasty stuff on top of them.

Trust me- digging through sink sludge for stray cellophane (say that 5 times fast!) doesn't do a lot to improve your mood.

The last few days have been interesting- I actually went outside (!) and headed over to my aunt & uncle's new house- to see the house, as well as my cousin and his wife and kids, whom I haven't seen in about 2 years. The little girls were both in my wedding, and they have gotten so big!

The highlight of the afternoon was my other cousin's son, who is about 3 1/2. When I came in, everyone said hi to me and hugs were distributed.

Cute little curly-haired boy- "You're not Jenna!"

Me- "Really? Thanks for letting me know. Who am I, then?"

CLCHB- "You're JENNIFER."

Me- "Am not!"

CLCHB- "Are too!"

Me- "Ok. Well, come and give me a hug anyway."

He runs to me and I scoop him up, and he declares, "I love Cousin Jenna!" Then he gave me a magnanimous pat on the boob. Granted, he is breast-fed, but it was a little unexpected.

A friend of mine from college was also in town this week, with her 4 1/2 month old son, who is ADORABLE, and who sweetly slept though dinner at P.F. Changs without a peep. I managed to convince her to let me carry him the next day, when we went on our excursion to Ancient Pathways (yarn shoppe extraordinaire!) and he flirted and smiled obligingly at everyone.

Then I was holding him, I felt this odd pressure, and then- yikes! The little guy (also breast-fed) had just sort of latched on like a little lamprey, and I had to figure out how to carry him facing outward for a little while.

After some discussion with The Man, we decided that there's a tractor beam somewhere in the vicinity of my cleavage.

Yes, I am lazy.

Either that, or it's existential despair.

The diet that I am on? The Man is on it too. He is losing weight just fine.

I, on the other hand, have gained two pounds. This is seriously beginning to make me question the existence of a higher power. Even though I have lost inches.

If you ask me if I'm exercising, I will just laugh at you, and you can feel free to take that as a no. Hopefully it will all work itself out.

Now you make the scene all day...but tomorrow there'll be hell to pay

"Hell", by the Squirrel Nut Zippers. One of my favorite songs, it was an obscure hit like, 10 years ago. It's my cell ringtone. Nobody ever recognizes it.

Until yesterday, when I went shopping with my Mother-in-Law and sis-in-law. Who are the last two people I would ever think would know it- but they started singing along with my phone!

Then I sort of remembered being Christmas shopping, and people around me chuckling when my phone rang.

Turns out, there's a reality show called Family Plots, about a family undertaking business, and "Hell" is the theme song. Who knew?

Ugh.

So you guys know I went to the temp agency yesterday, right? Well, you prolly didn't, 'cause I didn't tell you. But now, you know. And According to G.I. Joe, that's half the battle.

So.

I had a phone interview yesterday.

All I can say is, I really hate it when you call someone that you don't KNOW, then they introduce themselves, there's a muffled convo with SOMEONE(s) who you're not introduced to, and then they say, "Is it OK if I put you on speakerphone?"

Sheesh, people! Are you Penn, and you just have Teller in the background?

I need to know who my audience is. I have to turn on The Charm. Since, you know, I am supposed to impress you and not come off looking/sounding like an idiot.

Especially if all I hear out of the "audience" is occasional rumblings and chuckling in the appropriate places. (Dear Lord, let there not be inappropriate chuckling!) So yeah, I was flying blind, plus I was on my cell phone in a PARKING LOT due to circumstances beyond my control. In retrospect, I think I did OK.

I got the biggest reaction when I introduced the concept of the 1 thru 5 employee rating system that was used at my last job. (This was in response to a question about differentiating a standard employee from an excellent employee- I said "The excellent employee goes the extra mile- I want to work in a situation where that will be appreciated! Yes, you guys can use that someday if you want.) And then I told this story.

When I first started working at my last Company Which Shall Not Be Named, I got my first review. And it was a good review- I was a new employee, and I basically got 3's on everything. I was Acceptable. It was on paper and everything!

The next year, I transitioned into a job with a lot more responsibility. I came in on weekends. I showed up early. I sweated bullets. I worked overtime. I did the 30 minute lunches. (Remember that, some of you?) And when review time came around, I still got a "3" on the "attendance & promptness" portion of my review.

When I questioned it, I was told that I shouldn't be upset, because a "3" meant Meets Expectations, and a 4 was for "exceeds expectations", and a 5 was for "exceptional performance". And since they EXPECTED me to be there early every day and work weekends and overtime, they couldn't in good conscience give me a 4.

Damn- how do you get a FIVE? Move into my cubicle? Kiss some serious ass? WHAT??! I bet ERIC gets a FIVE.... (No, I didn't say that. But y'all know you were thinking it.)

So- when I addressed that story and sent it out into the speakerphone void, I got the background chuckle. I don't know if it was "Lawd, you must have worked for a bunch of dumb ass-clowns!" kind of chuckle, or a "The world ain't fair sweetheart, WE don't even give paid holidays, just grab the counter and bend over like the rest of us" kind of chuckle. So.

Then they(?)asked me if I had any questions for them, or if there was anything I felt that they should know about me. The part that disturbs me is that I don't remember what I said. I know I didn't scream "WORLD PEACE!" and smack my head repeatedly against the dashboard of my car. But I remember coming close to it.

They said they had a few other positions open that I might be interested in, which I can only see as a good thing.

Think good thoughts for me, people!

Change Bandit

Ok, this is hysterical.

I have been stashing change I find around the house and then rolling it up whenever it occurs to me.

Last night, one of my purses fell off the bed while I was reading a book or something, and change cascaded out onto the floor. The Man rolls his eyes and says, "OK- I am going to count all this up."

I had about 8 bucks (mostly in quarters) at the bottom of my purse. He starts going off about me like I am some endearing little squirrel with a hoarding problem, and so I decided to humor him and drag out all my old, forgotten, and abandoned purses to see what the result would be.

Oh My GOD.

Well, all I can say, is that we'll never starve! I guess this bad habit I have of not ever making change has finally paid off.

Between all my stuff, including jacket pockets, the grand total came to: $88.93. Not all of this was change- I found two fives in one purse, and a big wad of ones in another. My only defense is that both of these purses date back to when Alan was overseas, and I was doing a lot of drinkin'.

Plus I found:
3 sets of chandelier earrings
4.5 sets of regular earrings
3 necklaces
4 barrettes
1 ring
two pair (clean) socks and underwear (this was in the abandoned gym bag)
Spare pair of prescription glasses
19 ponytail elastics
Innumerable hairpins
Lipstick for days- at least 5, not counting lip gloss, which seems to breed in captivity.
One compact
6 pairs of sunglasses
The heel of a shoe (how did that happen?)
Pens galore- 3 ballpoint, 7 rollerball, two felt-tip, and one forest green dry erase (where the hell did I get that?)
Old checks
two lost pieces from my manicure set
nail glue
empty bottle of perfume
my old SS card
Post-it pads
a whole lotta lint
a lighter and a pack of Djarum clove cigarettes- full, minus one. (Also from The Man overseas period)
tons of miniscule knitting paraphanalia
lint
pepper spray
feminine protection
Old medication
petrified gum and tins of altoids.

And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Yeah, it's starting again.

The Man and I sat down last night and we hatched ourself a plan. Well, OK, a whole BUNCH of plans. Regarding work and school and lifestyle for the both of us.

It was weird. So I now have a list of goals, things that I want to do, and am in the planning stages of setting mini-goals to reach the big-ass goals. Doing this, I realized how much a lot of the mini-goals are interconnected, and that I am basically being a big wuss and just sort of "not seeing the forest for the trees" as far as handling my life goes.

Was that vague enough?

OK. Essentially, one of my goals is to become a more responsible pet owner. Another is to get regular exercise. A third is to lose some damn weight, already.

This would be the part where the universe points at me and says, "WALK the dogs, you idiot!!!"

Not two birds, three. THREE birds with one stone. So, I will be dog walkin'.

Lose weight + save money + eat at home= meal planning. Three more birds.

You can play count the cliches if you want (I did, and I am posting this anyway!) but it makes me feel better to have a plan, it's sticking to it that is gonna kind of suck, but if it gets me to where I want to be, then I guess I better get used to it!