Downtime

No more cooking- No MORE!

I did it, though. I will have to take a picture of the inside of my freezer, so you can see what my version of obsessive-compulsive disorder looks like. Seriously, I cooked for two days, and now I know why anorexics cook all the time- it KILLS your appetite. Hopefully I will eventually want to eat the 8 tons of stuff I cooked-

Anyway. Finally got up the guts to get back on the scale this morning, and I'm at 240.6. Which really isn't bad- I haven't been working out or watching myself much for the last two weeks. I need to weigh myself on a regular basis, so I am inspired and don't lose touch with reality.

I did get a workout (in a sense) today- I went outside to sweep down the spiderwebs, and all of a sudden, it was Domestic Goddess part two- I grabbed the garden shears and the loppers and started pruning everything back, I weeded, I poured some decorative bark into my flowerbeds, I swept down the old bird's nests from the top of our entryway, I swept the front walk, I re-twined the vines on y front porch around their trellis, hosed off the doormat, and made a futile attempt to kill the asparagus ferns that are entrenched in our landsaping. Whew!

My across-the-street-neighbor came out towards the end of this and basically laughed at me because I was doing all of this wearing a cute little red Old Navy t-shirt and a black peasant skirt, with black wedge heeled sandals. Whoops- I got carried away.

So- the weight is actually good. I was afraid I had gained back more. We go to pick up my treadmill tomorrow, and I am so busy aroud the house with prjects, I am getting a ton of exercise. After the two days of cooking, my legs literally ached all the way up to my waist- I was on my feet for 2 days! I think I am going to take it easy this eventing, watch some movies, and fold laundry. Yep, that sounds about right.

Cookin' up a storm...

Holy Toledo.

OK, evidently there's some domesticity virus that I caught.

I was online last night, looking at RecipeZaar, which is a resource I haven't accessed in awhile. One of our neighbors had come by and offered up a plethora of reeeeallly ripe fruit- grapes, plums, red pears, and some peaches. So I needed to find something to do with them.

Bring on Nectarine and Plum Crisp, Pear Smoothies, and Peachy Chicken.

That settled, I started window shopping among the recipes, and I am suddenly in the middle of a cooking binge. This is an event that rarely happens, and of course, there are complications: My oven is dead. We've found a new one that we like, but with the weird configuration of our counters, it's is going to mean a lot of carpentry work and probably new counters and flooring. However, with the approaching holiday season, I am wanting to bake stuff. So maybe that will light a fire under us.

Because we have a non-functioning oven, I took the Nectarine Crisp to my buddy's to cook, on the proviso that she got a piece. Ad yes, I had some too! I was pretty good though, the rest went to hubby and the neighbors. I know my limitations.

Anyway, while browsing, I started to run into the acronym "OMAC". For the uninitiated, this stands for "Once a Month Cooking". How can this exist?! You guys know, I had to try it. You have a two-day cooking orgy, and then just freeze everything in Ziploc'd portions and thaw it as needed. Only one huge mess to clean up once a month. How did I never think of this? Hell, where do I sign up?!

So....guess what I've been doing today and will be doing continuing through tomorrow? And yes, oh BOY do I miss my oven! I have been trying to convert some of the recipes requiring an oven to stove top, with OK results (as far as I can tell).

Here's the menu so far:

Peach "Dump" Chicken It's a whole lot yummier than it sounds!
Chicken & Barley Stew
Banana Chocolate Chip Bread (Shut up- it's for hubby! I think it'd be delicious with PB...mmmmmmm)
Herbed Chicken w/ Grapes
A-1 Steak
Thai Peanut Chicken
Crock Pot Roast This is in the Crockpot right now, and it smells heavenly......
Cauliflower w/ Bacon
Lentil & Apricot Soup Sounds a trifle odd, but sooo yummy!
Split Pea Soup with Ham (Instead of Ham, I used Turkey bacon)
Italian Spinach
Crockpot Black Bean Salsa Chicken
Crockpot Family Chili
Spaghetti Sauce

So, a whole lot of new stuff, along with some old standards. I have tweaked stuff where it doesn't fit with SBD, so I will actually be eating healthy all month, as long as I eat at home.

OK, gotta go- the stove beckons!

Still alive...

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted! I have a ton going on. It also took me a day or so to get all recovered from Inland Invasion, which was....amazing. AMAZING. My only regret is that we missed the last band to play, which was Cake. We uh, skipped Oasis on purpose- 'nuff said.

So, been working on a variety of projects. Helping get hubby kicking on his new car blog, Rebuilding Clarisse. I have just been helping hhim take more photos and upload them, and am showing him the ins and outs of Blogger.

I have also been taking a stained glass class- I'm taking some pics tonight, they should be uploading sometime tomorrow. I am already very impressed with my new creation, and it's only about a quarter of the way done. Woo!

Let's see, what else- trying to get caught up on housework and laundry, (I know, booooring!) so I decided to procrastinate and sew myself a nifty new apron. Once again, pictures are forthcoming. It's so cute- abstract white roses on a black background, with white & black polka-dot fabric for the ties and trim. I forgot how much closer sewing is to "instant gratification" than knitting. Being able to finish an object bigger than a washcloth in less than two hours just blows my mind.

Dieting isn't really a priority this week, although I have been moving around quite a bit and not really eating anything horrible. My wonderful neighbor brought over some fruit yesterday, so we have a ton of healthy snacks in the house. I haven't weighed in awhile though, so I better do that tomorrow.

Back to the grind...

Oh wow....it's Wednesday.

Let's see....I have been eating pretty much to specs, but I know my portions are evil.

I found these great "ice Cream" bars- "Tofutti Hooray!" bars. Wow. I am managing to keep myself to one a day. They are sugar free, and since they are in some way made of tofu, they seem to have actual nutrients. Either that, or I will wake up tomorrow and realize that it was all a dream or that it's true, and I sold my soul to the devil to procure them or something.

Anyway. Even my husband likes them.

I have been combining two of my current obsessions- knitting and exercise. I managed to design a teeny tiny tote to take with me to the gym. It will handily hold my iPod, all the iPod acessories, keys, a small notepad and pen, and the all important lipgloss. There's also a pocket on the outside for my gym card and a loop at the bottom for my bottled water. I stuck some new pictures of my creation on flickr here.

Can you tell I am just a tad obsesive?

I also took my first stained glass class tonight. I am so excited! I can't wait to get into the more advanced projects. I need to get some basic supplies tomorrow, so I am ready for next week.

I am going to go to the gym tomorrow, to break in my new teeny tiny tote. And also, hopefully prevent any signs of butt enlargement.

Oh- here's something exciting! On Saturday, I am going with friends to see Inland Invasion. If you aren't into alt rock, this will mean little or nothing to you, but if you ARE, here's the high points of the(phenomenal!!!) lineup:

• Beck
  
• Cake
  
• Fishbone
  
• Garbage
  
• Jet
  
• Kasabian
  
• Live
  
• Madness
  
• Oasis
  
• 311
  
• Weezer
  

Yes, I plan to be in a joyful rock-induced coma for most of the day. Hopefully, I can take pictures- I better look into that!

Cue "Twilight Zone" theme music...

Today has just been- a weird day. I am in a major funk. I haven't gone to the gym, so I know that a good part of it is being cooped up. I haven't even dragged my butt over to get my passport stuff.

On a positive note, I did manage to watch A Streetcar Named Desire, and Gone With The Wind while I was knitting and folding laundry. I had never seen Streetcar before. All I have to say is, Marlon Brando...WOW. Since to my generation, the guy was The Godfather....WOW. Sorry, I'm all verklempt.

Other than that- eating slightly better today. I made some chicken soup with spinach and veggies, and have basically been living on that. The leftover dessert is almost gone. I am hoping that hubby will help me dodge the bullet and finish it off for me tonight.

Another positive thing- the first of my circle of friends from college had a baby last week, and she sent me pictures today. Her little boy is the most beautiful, perfect little thing. And I am not one to think that newborns are beautiful, but this little guy is absolutely gorgeous.

I finally caved and got a flickr Pro account, so I have spent most of this afternoon obsessively moving photos around and creating sets. If you'd like to check 'em out, click here! I now have a "pets" set up on there, as well as a set for Clarisse, the new/old car.

We also managed to decide on plates for the old girl- she didn't come with antique Nebraska plates, so she'll have a new identity here in CA. Since "Clarisse" is too long, and "Clarice" is taken, we decided to just go basic: DIVYN'59. Yes, that one was mostly me. : )

Split personality

I have been so, so, very bad re: food today. I don't even care to discuss it.

OK, you talked me into it.

At least there are leftovers, although I don't think I am going to be able to eat most of them without a guilty conscience. I guess I can blame PMS, or I can blame the celebration-worthy day I had! We had appetizers...which were vaguely naughty- and then I got the baked potato with my fairly reasonable dinner, and then I got dessert. To share.

I admit it- we went to Claim Jumpers, and I ordered this concoction that combined eclairs, hot fudge, and vanilla ice cream into ONE dessert. I should have known by the horrified look the waitress gave me when I ordered it. If I had been sharing it with nine people, the portions still would have been generous. The waitress eventually had to bring us a vat/aluminum containment unit to pour it into, and it is now in my freezer, presumably writhing and lying in wait and scheming to throw itself down my alimentary canal while I am sleeping.

So- Reasons to celebrate- My new laptop finally arrived, Hooray!

And also:

We have a new member of the family. She is yet to be named- any suggestions? No, "Christine" isn't quite what we had in mind! UPDATE: We have tenatively decided upon "Clarice". It sounds sort of prissy, yet dangerous, so we think it's perfect for her...

This will give you a vague idea of what our behemoth looks like- except ours is white & turquoise, instead of white & red. The guy who transported it here from Nebraska had just fallen in love with it. He kept patting it affectionately while he unloaded it, like it was a big, faded, slightly rusty, turquoise and white dog that had followed him home.

It was crazy- while it was being unloaded, laboriously started up, and pushed into our garage, half the neighborhood came out to watch the spectacle. Seriously- you just have to stare at this thing. It's so eye-catching, even in its current dilapidated state, that it's ridiculous.

It needs a lot of work and TLC...but I suspect I am gonna love cruising around when it's finally restored. Look at those fins! I am in love. I am voting for this color scheme. I mean, dang! Wouldn't anyone?! My spoilsport husband wants to keep it original, but...after seeing that picture, I am not going to quite nagging about it anytime soon. (Turquoise and Black! Turquoise and Black!)

Anyway, the thing is a boat. You could fit about 4 bodies in the trunk. Not that I plan to, but uh, I'm just sayin'....we could baaaaarely squeak it into the garage. However, the thing needs extensive restoration, and I suspect voles are nesting in the upholstery, so this is going to be a long and exhaustive process. I will say this- there's a ton of chrome, and its in beautiful shape.

Can you tell that we're a tad retro-obsessed? Between this land yacht and our circa 1950's secondary refrigerator, I am willing to bet that we have more genuine American steel in our garage than anyone else in the neighborhood.

Fat Flashback #3

I don't know if this is technically a "fat" flashback, but here goes-

I was about 10 years old, and in a dressing room with my mother and little sister. We were on vacation in San Diego, and we were in a department store, trying on swimsuits.

My mother kept exiting, and coming back with armload after armload of bright flowery, stretchy stuff. My sister and I were usually dressed in matching or complimentary outfits at all times, although, since she is a few years younger than I am, I was finally beginning to balk at this. What looks cute on a six year old doesn't look so hot when you're ten.

Anyway, my sister was prancing in a bright turquoise suit with hot pink hibiscus on it (remember, this was the eighties!) She was obviously thrilled. She looked adorable. Mom handed me the matching suit in my size, and I managed to yank it on- but not before I noticed her startled gaze alighting on my rear end.

I'd always been a skinny kid, and body consciousness was a completely foreign concept to me. I just remember mom squinting at me in the mirror.

"Maybe the next size up?" she said, and departed to go get it. My sister, never patient at the best of times, started hanging on the swinging door, while I performed my first dressing room manouver that every woman is familiar with- trying to look at my butt in the three-way mirror. Since I'd never really noticed it before, it was hard to ascertain what the issue was.

Mom came back with the turquoise swimsuit in the next size up- as well as a black swimsuit with bright multi-color polka dots and a generous ruffle around the hips.

I tried on the larger turquoise suit. It fit, but I could tell there was something about it that bothered her.

"Can I try the black one?" I asked. I had loved it on sight- The flirty polka-dots, the ruffle, everything. It even had spaghetti straps, and it was BLACK, which meant it was grown up. Plus, an added bonus- it matched nothing of my sister's. Yes!

I tried it on, and it was magical. I adored it. I felt grown up, I felt like a polka-dot mermaid. Needless to say, we bought the black suit.

We got back to the hotel, and jumped into the pool, having a great time splashing and playing Marco Polo and practicing hand-stands and underwater somersaults in the shallow end.

Then Dad got out of his conference, and we both hopped out of the pool to show off our new suits, ponytails dripping.

"Very nice-" he said, looking askance at me, and then said to Mom- "It's kind of grown up though- what happened to the matching?"

Mom sort of turned a reddish color, and then she said, "Well, um, she's got...a BOTTOM."

I could tell that they were both vaguely embarrassed, but nothing else was said. We all hustled up into the room and got dried off and changed for dinner.

Once Dad's conference was over, we went to Sea World, and the wild animal park, and visited my Grandpa and Great-Uncle. I just remember Mom and Dad watching me closely at intervals throughout the vacation. Evidently, they had just realized that I wasn't going to look like a little girl for very much longer, although, of course I was unaware of that at the time.

I wore that black swimsuit until the elastic finally gave out. The "bottom story" was finally brought up again when I was well into my teens- my mother joked that she'd been stunned in that dressing room. "You were such a skinny little thing- and then all of a sudden, BOOM! I remember thinking, Where did those hips come from?!"

I remember that afternoon in the pool in San Diego as being the last time I was free from self-consciousness about my appearance. It makes me sad that little girls don't seem to have that innocence today.

Curse you, Demon Shorts!!!

OK, here goes-

I am up at least two pounds, as of my last weigh-in on Friday. AIIIIGH! I am trying not to panic, as I am relatively sure that I am just retaining water from the renewed exercising.

Still, BLEAH! I haven't been blameless as far as my eating habits are concerned either, so I do have reasons for the concern. But I mean, it's not like I stuck my face in a tiramisu- just a little bit here and there. And yes, I know that still counts!

I was going to weigh again this morning, but I drank a ridiculous amount of water before I thought about it- so that didn't happen.

I am not getting too perturbed though. My size 20 jeans are still baggy in the rear and legs- they were tight on me when I bought them, and that was before I washed them! And a new discovery today...

I bought three pairs of shorts at Old Navy- at the beginning of the summer. Unfortunately, I didn't try them on first- for some reason, I decided to tempt fate, rip the tags off, and then try them. Uh- Whoops. Do I even have to say that it was a mistake?

Damn this low-rise thing! I am long-waisted, and it makes it so hard to find decent pants and shorts that fit, even when I am into smaller sizes. I can actually wear skirts a size smaller than pants pecause of this.

Anyway, I could "technically" put the shorts on- I got both legs into them and zipped them- however, I literally bulged out of them. The waist hit me about mid-hip, and I don't even want to talk about the inseam. 'Nuff said.

So today, out of a morbid sense of curiosity, I took the Demon Shorts out of the drawer where they'd been gathering dust for three months. And- miracle of all miracles, they actually fit.

They're still not perfect- they are simply the wrong shape for me- but they no longer give me the ridiculous roll over the waistband. And my legs are noticably more toned,although how that is possible after only two sessions at the gym, I cannot say. But it makes me slightly more willing to wear the aforementioned Demon Shorts in public.

Ok, so I am going to buckle down this week. I was good today, and that's the plan for the next couple of weeks. I have got to get the ball rolling. (Think Paris in December....Paris in December...)

Tomorrow, I go back to the gym. I was going to go today, but they closed early due to Labor Day. To be honest, I was sort of relieved- my lower back keeps twingeing and muttering at me. But I feel great this evening, so tomorrow would be perfect for a re-match between me and my nemesis, the Precor. Woot!

Oh. And I am getting a new passport photo and applying for a birth certificate. GAH!

Woo!

I went to the gym. 40 minutes on the elliptical- 2.7 miles, 470 calories. Holy mackerel.

I suspect that I am going to develop an unhealthy dependence on the Precor- again. I just need to remind myself that I still have a nagging twinge in my lower back, and that I should probably keep going easy.

In other news, I still don't have a passport.

I went to lunch with my partner in crime, and she said that they take passport photos at the UPS store near her house. Dear GOD! $13.95- what a racket. It took about 30 minutes to get the camera set up and to take a useable photograph.

It wasn't until we were back in the car that I realized that the photos are completely out of focus- in addition to which, they looked like they were hacked apart by a kindergartener who flunked "scissors". Needless to say, the post office refused to take them- and I also have to have an original birth certificate- a copy won't work.

I guess I know what I'm doing on Tuesday! Downtown. Hooray!

And for the record- the little couple ahead of me in line at the post office tipped me off that you can get passport photos at Costco for 5 bucks. Just don't wear your glasses- they won't accept the photos if you're wearing anything that obscures your eyes.

Promises, promises...

I am going to the gym tomorrow. If I don't, you guys are seriously required to beat me up. Or at least, send me guilt-inducing e-mails, I mean it.

Ahem.

I've been doing some thinking. (Surprised?)

This comes from a minor tiff I had with my husband the other day. Here's the Reader's Digest Version:

Me: I hate it when you squeeze my tummy.

Him: Why not? I like your tummy!

Me: Well, I don't.

Him: I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself.

Me: I am just self-conscious, because I'm fat.

Him: You're not fat.

Me: Um, actually, I am.

Him: Well, I don't think of you that way. When I look at you, I don't think that you're fat. I just know that I love you.

Repeat, with variations, on a regular basis.

Yes, it's very sweet. And I didn't push the issue too far. But the thing is, this is not a matter of perception. While I know the BMI is a load of garbage, it places me firmly in the "obese" category.

I have accepted the fact that I am fat, and have a realistic perception of how to handle it. I mean, I weigh just under 240 lbs, and at 5'7", I carry it frighteningly well- which is probably why I let things go so far before I do something about it.

I have struggled with my weight for around two decades now- my first WW membership was as young as they'll take you- and it's just been a slippery slope since then. I have gained and lost so much weight, and my body image has morphed back and forth so much, that I have been startled by photographs where I look like a completely different person- like the image in my mind has been inflated. Or I'll see the reflection of me minus 30 lbs in a mirror or window as I pass, and honestly have no clue for a few seconds that it's me.

The thing is, when I reach my goal weight of 180- I will still, by most conventional standards, be "fat". I identify myself as fat, and to tell you the truth, I am working past considering it an insult. To me, 180 is a completely healthy and responsible weight, and would put me somewhere in the neighborhood of a size 10. If that's fat- so be it. Hollywood and New York Fashion Week can just BITE ME.

Having said that, I ordered an art print last week. I saw it online and fell in love with it- I think this woman is absolutely gorgeous. Also, if you haven't seen "Monsoon Wedding", it's one of my favorite movies. Yes, there are some subtitles, but it's so worth it. You see gorgeous people, who look *gasp* normal, and the storyline is fantastic.

Oh, WHAT a day.

So, I decided to do some laundry, and watch my movies from Netflix all afternoon, and maybe do a little knitting.

Feeling productive, I loaded the washer and dryer, picked up my knitting, and happily immersed myself in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

Around a half hour later, my husband came home early from work and asked, "Did you turn on the sprinklers? Because the driveway's wet."

Hmmmmm.....no. We decide that the sprinkler timer just went off or something. So we sit and watch the movie for a bit, and then I go to switch laundry over to the dryer.

The garage is FLOODED. Water is running down our driveway. Did I mention we have cardboard boxes and bags of clothing that is supposed to go to charity on the floor, not to mention 20 80 lb. bags of cement and a whole bunch of boxes of books and papers that we still haven't unpacked from our move two years ago? There's also huge wooden bookcases and shelves that I am re-painting and a bunch of painting supplies- also directly on the concrete floor.

ACK!

So- we lost some cement, but managed to save most of hubby's old childhood drawings, and threw out a lot of stuff that we didn't need. This also has lit a fire under me with regards to finishing up the shelving. So we'll have our garage back.

I'm not sure what this has to do with anything, except I do have to say that between the heavy lifting and the adrenaline, it was quite a workout.