Ohmigod ohmigod...

S'been a week. What can I say?

I got in touch with an old friend a few days ago, so I am currently in negotiations as to when we get to have dinner and catch up. It's been a year or so, which is entirely my fault, and I have been missing him a great deal.

Besides, it'll be great to give the waitress at Masala, my fave Indian restaurant, something to talk about. So far I've gone there with at least three guy friends, not to mention my usual female partner in crime. Alan, the hubby, has yet to make an appearance. Since he works swings, and I only eat dinner there- well. Do the math.

My insane green parrot and I are currently listening to a "new" radio station for the Fresno area- Jack, 105.9. While it's nothing like the old station that was there when I was in high school (The EDGE! FOREVER!) it's on heavy rotation chez moi. Nice blend of rock, with some pop and an occasional disco song. They've played Billy Idol, the Divinyls, Rod Stewart, and a bunch of newer stuff in the last hour.

Anyway, Vegas (the parrot) definitely likes it- he's going "Wooooo! WoOOOOOOOOoooOooooOOoo!" and swinging on his favorite toy with the bell on the end. Yes, it's hilarious.

I spent tonight with my family. My sister was in town for her high school reunion, and we dragged out her old yearbooks and looked at all the insane stuff that was written in there. Dad made spaghetti, and we just hung out.

It was great. They were all determined to go to Baskin Robbins, so my mom, sister and I ended up going. They all got sundaes, and I was fairly good, and got a one scoop Daiquiri Ice.

Here's where I need to say, I hate buying and eating ice cream in a public place. Something wretched always seems to happen to me. I can get a junior scoop of sugar-free vanilla, and seriously, some moron will emerge from the woodwork and make some comment about my weight, I swear to god.

Anyway, we're standing there waiting to pay, and what I am assuming is a family walks in. A dad, his teenage daughter, and two boys who looked to be about 15- prime idiot age. I am guessing they're his son and a friend. One (the son)has his arm in a sling.

So they're crowding in behind me. I am literally squeezed up against the ice cream counter, trying to give them more room, but they keep pushing. The dad asks his kid, one of the boys, "What are you getting?" And then heads to the other side of the counter to check out the other flavors.

The kid is standing right up near me, and says, "I don't know yet" in a loud voice, and then mutters to his buddy, "Because this b*tch's fat ass is blocking my view." They dissolve into giggles.

OK, so I am there with my family. They haven't heard it. I don't think I was meant to hear it either. I can tell their older sister has though, and to give her credit, she looks ashamed, and goes off to stand with her dad, who isn't exactly svelte either, by the way.

There have been a lot of times when I just wouldn't say anything. I know the little idiot was just showing off for his friend, but I just saw red, and I snapped.

I deliberately turned around and gave them the hairy eyeball until they stopped laughing, then hissed, "Fuck off, or me and my fat ass will break your other arm for you."

Hostile and wrong? Yes. I sort of feel guilty about it. But! They immediately shut up and went over to the other side of the ice cream store. So maybe it was worth it. The punchline is that my mom and sister didn't know what was going on until we got back into the car.