Oh HELL no.

I went to Walgreens with The Man the other night- he needed to pick up some decongestants, and I needed to pick up some shampoo.

It was around 7 PM, and I guess while I was looking at the shampoo, a stockboy was shoving large boxes of Christmas yard decor onto the top shelf in the next aisle.

The Man called me, and I went to the end of the aisle at the same point when I guess the stockboy shoved too hard, and 15 boxes of wrought iron holiday lawn art slammed down off the top shelves, exactly where I had been standing about a second before.

Dumbass. Then when I asked the stockboy "What happened?" he denied all knowledge of the incident.

Having narrowly escaped death-by-falling-wrought-iron-reindeer, I remembered that I needed ribbon to wrap my Christmas presents. The Man grudgingly followed me over to the aisle- there was a sweet little old lady (we're talking grey curly Grandma bob, wire rimmed glasses, the whole shebang) looking at gift wrap.

While I rummaged for some silver ribbon, The Man promptly found a gold mylar pre-made bow the size of a dinner plate. I deflected him when he acted like he was going to stick it to my head.

TM: "Didn't you have a dress with one of these on it in 1980?"

Me: "Dude. In 1980, I was FIVE."

The little old lady chimes in, "You'd better behave yourself there- she just might tie you up if you don't!"

Uhhhh....OK. Since I am holding about 300 yards of silver ribbon...and it IS a little old lady. So it's probably not a kinky reference, right? Right.

I give the Man the hairy eyeball. "Yeah. Behave yourself." I kind of shrug and laugh.

Little old lady: "If you're naughty, she might not just tie you up...she could handcuff you! And they don't always have those nice fleece liners!"

At this point, she winked lecherously. And that's when I grabbed The Man and the ribbon and we hightailed it out of there.

WTF is up with Walgreens, people? Is it Christmas that is making everyone crazy? The hell?